Forever, man.

It's been fucking forever since I've posted anything. Which probably isn't good. I've been changing more often, and I can actually control it better now. Like, I'll be able to change just enough so that I'm strong enough to play with the dragons and not get hurt. I can do it in gym class, too. Right now we're doing volleyball, so I don't need to change as much. I figure if I keep practicing around people, maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to control it even more. So far it's worked; only once did I lose control a little and almost completely expose myself. But that was when I was starting out. I can do it better now. Much better. I can't remember if I said that Candra and I are okay again. I called her the other day and she's helping me train Arrow (we altered his name some, but hey, she's the expert on these amazing creatures, she knows what they should be called.)I haven't talked to her for a few days, which means I should know enough to train Arrow on my own for now. I can figure out everything I need to do with him. Things are getting easier. Except for the Wicca thing. This guy Jaden knows, which wasn't my goal, but he's way too nosey. I can't believe how much nosey humans annoy me. Only like, what, 2 humans know what I can do? But only one believes in me. So whatever. Oh, wait, make that 3. But he claims he figured it out on his own. Again, total bull shit.

Because I'm inching closer and closer to my maturity age, my behavior is a little off. I actually beat up this kid twice. It almost felt like it was over nothing. But I don't think it was. He always makes sexual comments to me, I got a little tired of trying to ignore him. So, on the bus, I slammed his head into the window and twisted his wrist the way it's not supposed to go. It obviously didn't teach him a lesson because when I turned around he smacked the center of my back. It didn't hurt, but still. So, again, I turned around quickly and, well, gave him what he deserved. I wasn't thinking, but I placed my foot in his crotch and pushed. That part I could have lived without doing, but it was just a reaction. I couldn't help it. The bus driver didn't see anything, or if she did she didn't say a word to us. She either likes me or is terrified of me. At least I got it into this kids head that I'm not going to tolerate him anymore. Next time I'll do worse to him.

New Vamps

Apparently my friend Holly and a couple other people are vampires and I didn't notice it. Can you blame me? My sight and smell aren't strong enough to take in so many scents and sights at once. But whatever. It's fine with me. It's just this new kid Colby. He knows about us all and he says he's psychic. I'm not sure one whether I should believe him or not. But if he's lying I swear I will hurt him. Oh, one more thing. I'm starting to notice more that I'm craving a lot of like meat and stuff. But more so the blood it may bring. O_o Crazy right? But seriously. The smell of blood really stands out right now. This kid on my bus's finger was bleeding and I could smell it as soon as I got on the bus. And we sit in the very back. I guess things will get stronger the quicker April comes. I'm already noticing differences. Got to go, brother's here.

Pack drama

The eggs hatched, looks like I was right about their colors. And everything else. I told Candra. She's pissed. She told me to wait, one of those dragons will turn on me. But you know what? I quit. I'm done with her. None of them would get it. Taigi might, but no. She'd take Candra's side even though she's farther away than I am. I trust my dragons. She says no dragon is trust worthy Well these dragons are different. My grandmother gave them to me. She would not have given them to me if I wouldn't be able to handle them. I explained it to Candra, and she didn't get it. She told me that I shouldn't talk to her until I learn my mistake. She says because I didn't follow her instructions, I will amount to nothing.

Candra used to be my best friend. Even before we knew about any of this. Now, just because I choose to listen to my guy instead of to her, she's telling me I will turn out to be nothing. Because I'm able to handle 6 dragons and she obviously isn't, she's going berserk. Icefire came to us not just because she love Ivory, but because Candra couldn't handle her along with her own dragons. Icefire was never truly hers in the first place. Icefire has this free spirit, she belongs to no one. I get that. I respect that because I love her. I love all of them and Candra just sees them as dragons. That's it. Just dragons. It's like if she considered me just a witch or just a werewolf. Not as if she cared about me. Not as if she were my friend. So, yeah. I'm done with Candra for a while. I won't listen to her. Just to Nyx and my instincts. And my dragons. But no one else.

Glasses!?

I might need glasses. A werewolf. With glasses. This is so not right. I guess the whole switching between human form and wolf form are starting to get to me. Considering how many times I've morphed, yeah, it doesn't surprise me. But whatever. They eggs are supposed to hatch tonight or tomorrow. It's kind of exciting. It's been since the beginning of school since I hatched a dragon. =] Now I must go. Toodles!

Defiant?

Would you consider it stupid of me to go against what one of my pack members say? She's a dragon tamer as well as our werehorse. I found 2 dragon eggs a little while ago and I've decided to hatch them on my own. Candra told me I shouldn't do it. She said I should wait until I'm with the rest of the pack and Taigi. I'm not doing it. I said I would, but I can't. I've hatched 2 eggs before these all on my own, and they're fine. I have the power to look into these eggs merely once and find out so much about these dragons. One of them is encased in a yellow egg, his name is Covalt (I believe), and his mother was more of a golden-yellow color while his father was blue. So, he's kind of in between; a golden blue, if you will. The other is encased in a purple egg and her name I believe is Violet, her mother is purple; her father red. I think you get the picture. Though I respect Candra and love her like she were my own sister, I must go against her on this. I have this strong feeling that I have to do this; so I am. I am trusting my gut as well as my dragons. Ivory knows what he's doing, and he openly shares his knowledge with Icefire, Erron, Damien and I. We're all in this together, and they all shall help me in taking care of Covalt and Violet. Candra think that if I do this on my own one of them if not both dragons may turn on me. It's not possible. My grandmother gave them to me; there's something different about all the eggs she gave me. Almost all the ones I have rediscovered have hatched, and they all have a link to each other as well as to me. Icefire, though she was hatched by Candra, is now part of our... family, if you will. Damien, Erron, Icefire and soon Violet and Covalt are all the ones my grandmother gave to me. Ivory is my guidance =] And I could not ask for one better than he. Though he is older than I, it makes no difference to any of us.

The rents are home, I must now go.

No more numbers

I can't remember what number I'm on, but whatever. Here goes:

--

The last time I ever remember feeling this way was...never. It's like nothing I've ever known before. I'm terrified but excited all at the same time.

I think I'm in love. There, I said it. But it's not really...right? I mean, I don't know what he is. I've ever only met him once, and yet I feel a connection between the two of us. My friends sometimes like to call him a vampire. I'll admit, he does has rather long and sharp K9s. But, I can't decide if I'd rather him be human, or a vampire.

Pros and Cons of vampire:
Pros:-no secrets
-can stay on the same page
-understand what each other is going through(more so than humans)
-live forever
-be a strong team(physically as well as mentally)
Cons:-the blood issue
-if get into a fight, bad things could happen(I'd prefer not to think about those, thank you very much)
-might not be able to reproduce with werewolves (:( )

Pros and Cons of human:
Pros: -normal
-get along with others
Cons:-might not understand
-fragile
-shorter life span
-have that strange ability to judge before they get the full story
-the main reason for a "temper tantrum"
-"ignorance is bliss"

I don't think that helped me any. But, maybe I could be wrong. If he were human, maybe he'd get it; maybe, just maybe, he'd believe it. If he's a vampire, the magickal world may or may not accept it. Though they might. But there is that sad-making thought that vampires and werewolves might not be able to reproduce; and I'd eventually like to have a child of my own.

Considering what I know about him so far, I know that he knows I'm a witch, as well. And what's drawn me to him is that, it doesn't seem to matter to him. See, if he's a vampire, I'd expect that reaction. But if he's a human...I'm rather impressed. No one's ever thought that way of us before. They assume it's something evil when, a lot of the time, it's not. Right now, I don't know if I care if he's a human or a vampire. His personality came sort of more.. vibrantly? the night I met him. So, no, I really don't think I care what he is. As long as he's mine; it won't ever matter.

Just a heads up.

I don't know why, but I haven't been doing anything on this blog. Maybe I will soon. But just not now. I don't want to put something down if my family is watching. So, more should come to this blog soon.